I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
