i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
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