Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
