Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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