I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
