her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
