she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
