It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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