Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
