My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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