Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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