I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
