Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize