...so i touched it.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just pee around me
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
