You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
