I wish my penis had an off switch
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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