the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
