You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
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