And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
