I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
