she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
