Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
