it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
