K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
