I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
