He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
