You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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