Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
