you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
another moral hangover. fuck.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
