Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
