Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I still have a little drunk in my system
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
