I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
