the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
