it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize