Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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