Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
What drink are we having for lunch?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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