i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
