i think my tv is drunk
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
