How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
