Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize