he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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