he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
