her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
