I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
