It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
