so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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