she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
