they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
