she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
