My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
