The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
