pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
