also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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