You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
