Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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