I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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