1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Why are your pants in the freezer?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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