You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just blew my weed a kiss
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
