I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
