she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
