1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize