tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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