ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
