so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
