that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
