Where is the hickey?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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