i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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