that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
It was confusing and full of hummus
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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