Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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