I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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