I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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