we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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