i think my tv is drunk
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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