just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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