last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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