oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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