God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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